It is incredible. Life, that is. You think you know where you are headed and then, one day, you look up and you are in Reno.
Well, okay, I AM in Reno.
As I settle into my new digs and assess my new surroundings, I am thrilled that I have said “yes” to what life has presented me. Yes, to dating a man who lived 250 miles away. Yes, to loving him. Yes, to putting my house on the market in San Jose. Yes, to a crazy high bid on my little rundown 1950’s tract home. Yes, to packing up and moving out of the only hometown I have ever known.
I cannot say that it has all been easy. I have been riddled with anxiety, broken down crying, and Mothra had permanent resident status in my belly for at least 3 months. My adult-boys were very angry and very afraid. My heart was sadden as I hugged my 4 year old grandson good-bye. I worry about my aging parents. I have two storage units in two different states, both only partially full. And the Nevada DMV knows me by my first name.
It is working out. I was fortunate to be able to take a personal sabbatical and get acclimated to a high desert summer. I am very interested to see how I experience a true high desert winter. I explored restaurants, libraries, bookstores, and thrift stores. I became a member of the art museum and have put a down payment on season tickets for our fledging soccer league. Reno has a theater with wonderful acoustics and we have season tickets to the Broadway Musical lineup. I talk to my extended family more and I know who my true friends are.
What kept me sane? A deep-seated belief that all was going to work out. Some folks say that they place it all into God’s hands, and maybe that is it. Maybe that language doesn’t work for me, maybe it does. My spiritual life is one of trust and faith. I know that it isn’t me who makes fabulous Maui beach houses or open parking spaces appear. It is something much bigger and something that has a much broader line of sight than me. That “something” keeps the lights on and I am grateful.
Is it enough to simply have faith that good things happen and to be grateful for all that I have? Or do I need more? I believe that I am in a good place and expressing gratitude is one of my guiding principles. I try and pay forward in both deed and dollars my good fortune.
What I have yet to discover in my new hometown is a spiritual home to call my own. I have tried a couple of places; nothing yet has made my soul sing. Until I do, I try and keep myself in tune with inspirational readings, hanging out with my spiritual community on Facebook, and breathing in nature. At the moment, it seems to be enough.
I am content.
My goal is to remain present and accept what comes to me, to move with it or through it. So, maybe my answer continues to be “yes”. Yes to acknowledging something bigger than me, Yes to having faith that good things happen, and Yes to being grateful for all I have, IS enough.
How about you? Where is your heart right now? Are you present in your life? When was the last time that you looked up and truly realized where you were and expressed gratitude for what you have? How about trying that now?