December 16, 2010
#reverb10 Prompt by @curiousmartha: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
“I meant every word I said.”
Those six words, spoken in one of the most awkward moments of my life, changed not only me, but my perspective on MY world this year. This summer, in one sentence, my world contracted. A friend walked away. A friend who will forever remain close to my heart. My world is less soulful; more hollow. Although the loss isn’t as raw now; there is always a moment every day when I think about him, what I would say or how I would have done things differently.
How has my perspective changed? I struggle to find my “everything is going to turn out alright” vibe. I no longer feel anchored by the belief of having a kindred spirit. There is a sadness that ebbs and flows throughout my day.
This is not to say that I have been crippled by this dissolution. There is also a burgeoning strength; an assertion of my spirit that has proven powerful enough to push me through the grief. I understand what we were together and I am working on making our oneness my own power; no longer shared by two but carried solo by me.
Has my perspective changed? Hell yes. I miss him every day and respectfully bless his decision. (An interesting balancing act, let me tell you!)
BUT I am living life colorfully and larger every day.
AND I realize that my possibilities are endless, my friendships are true and my world is boundless.
Somethings must end in order for new things to begin. THAT is my new perspective.