10th Circle of Hell – The Interview (Part One)

THE interview suitCan I just say UGHHHHHH!??!??! Today I had my first interview in 2 years, actually I had two interviews with two different companies, but more on that later.  The day began…on a low note. My printer didn’t print the necessary copies of my freshly scrubbed resume. It looked so beautiful on the screen – aligned – justified – bold heading – perfect bullets. NOTHING!  Not one dot of ink came out of my OfficeJet 5500.  After grousing around a bit, I solved the problem, called mom asked her to print out the documents, then calmed my breathing and continued with my tasks.

Next, off to the dry cleaners to pick up THE INTERVIEW SUIT. We all have one, THE outfit that you wear once, maybe twice during the interview and onboarding process. My suit makes me feel more professional, like I am actually able to sit at the conference table with the big boys. I had decided to have it pressed and shortened, and I ad asked my cleaner add some special interviewing mojo while she was at it.  I hope it helps!

Now, my tailor/dry cleaner is the sweetest lil Vietnamese lady you will ever meet. She is also the hardest working person I know. Her shop is usually open by 8 and she doesn’t leave until 10 PM every night- Kims Alterations at Branham/Ross in San Jose – if you live in the area and need a tailor – Kim is your best bet.  I get to the shop at 8:15 AM – no Kim – locked doors – darkened shop windows. Damn! The sign said open @ 8 AM. Now what? Wait in the car? Pace in front of the store? I still wanted to look up a couple more bits of info on the company before I left. When all else fails?  Shoot for plan B. I hop back in the car – and try to figure out what else is first interview worthy in my wardrobe.

Pull into the driveway – Black pants, black silk purse – b/w plaid jacket – big silver jewelry – I think it will work.  Fly through the door – printer STILL not working. Laptop freezes and dumps me off the internet – REBOOT.

As I am primping, I am trying to remain calm, I practice my mindful breathing and burn my forehead with the curling iron. I place the curling iron down and step away from the counter, so I can perform a couple of sun salutations, offer up a gratitude or two and find a better place in my mind to be – DAMN! The phone rings and I miss it. I pick up the voice message only to hear the recruiter for interview #2 say the interview has been cancelled – not re-scheduled – but cancelled. Not good – not good – not good. This was the position I really wanted. I believed it had been created just for me. I had a letter of recommendation sitting on the hiring manager’s desk – I knew one of the women who were to be my peer and she had put a good word for me as well! What the hell happened? 

Called the recruiter. It seems they have decided to go with an internal candidate, but they like my qualifications, yadda, yadda, yadda – don’t call us – we’ll call you. Boy am I glad that I didn’t tell my boss I was looking for another job within the organization. Its now 10 minutes before I have to leave for the interview.

But where am I going?  I forgot to print out the directions and the printer isn’t working – remember this: PROCRASTINATION DOES NOT PAY! I enlisted my unemployed 18 year old to re-boot the crashed laptop and write down the directions – I offered him $20 to do this task – he does it without a complaint, at least I know he has a price.

Its 9:15 and I don’t even have makeup on….(to be continued)


About schetgenhaus

life is good and only getting better - looking for ways to see the heart of a person each and every day - if the chatter is too loud - simply turn down the volume - but don't tune out - you might miss something grand!
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One Response to 10th Circle of Hell – The Interview (Part One)

  1. Jennifer says:


    So I admire you for the interesting commentary and humor you find in your day to day life. It took me a while to get here and read what you read. I thought that this is a great way to keep up on the comings and going, but I just can’t see blogging as a way to replace my contacts with friends. I am afraid computers will start growing out of my head… but, I guess, I could get a little more with the times. I am now on Facebook, Plaxo and Linked In. Not sure when I will find the time to keep them all updated, but it is an interesting experience.

    Thanks for sharing your life with us!


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